While sometimes, in case of illness or injury, a complete sexual experience is not possible in marriage, it is always best to have whatever sexual experience is available to the couple. Now the settled partnership issues come up: It's easy to be discouraged and give up. Here are four simple steps to create a successful marriage: When your relationship lasts for a while, your lovemaking will change. Recreate a scene from your dating days, as closely as possible -- the time you met at church and couldn't wait to get home and make love, the flowers you used to bring home as a surprise, or saying all the silly, wildly in-love things you said then. Most of us are familiar only with the early stages: This is what the romantic songs and movies are all about, and it has become what people call "being in love.
Have a sense of humor; give the benefit of the doubt, care about each other. It's the part where the magic fades, and both of you begin to relax and show your innermost, less-perfect selves. In the development of intimacy, love matures and becomes reality-based. Act out all the silly, forbidden or exciting fantasies -- nurse and patient, two little children "playing house", master or dominatrix and slave, stripper and customer, extraterrestrial alien and abductee, famous movie star and adoring fan, your two favorite characters from a soap opera, novel or movie, or anything else you can imagine. They have become experts in living life together. Seduction can be as simple as causing your partner to ask what you've been doing that has you so energized and interested. Some have experienced moving in, marriage and the honeymoon phase, where everything is brand new and wonderful. Unless you've been through a very long-term relationship before, it's hard to understand the difficulties encountered in the development of intimacy stage and the settled partnership phase. Most of us are familiar only with the early stages: People often do much better in their second or third long-term relationships because their early experience taught them what to expect, and gave them a chance to acquire the necessary long-term skills. When problems arise, they have the wisdom and experience to keep their commitment alive through cooperation and mutual understanding. You're beginning to get to know each other, warts and all. After you've had an argument or a struggle, and forgiven each other, lovemaking can be extra tender and memorable. This is the full-blown variety: Love and sex are like the roots that feed the tree. Sooner or later, temptation will arise, either from a partner's co-worker, another member of the church choir this happens a lot or a neighbor. This is a great time for costumes, masks, sexual toys, leather outfits, or whatever enhancements you enjoy. At this point, successful couples know they're loved as they really are. Relationships continue to develop in stages, even after the honeymoon is over. It is often accompanied by many verbal declarations of love and explaining again why you are so important to each other. When you're enthusiastic, you're seductive -- it's the most attractive we can be. Here are four simple steps to create a successful marriage: Now the settled partnership issues come up: Especially good for anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or anytime your relationship needs a boost. This has the added excitement of "forbidden fruit" -- having silent sex behind locked doors while the children are watching TV, sneaking lovemaking in your childhood bedroom while visiting your parents, visiting your partner at work and having quickie sex on the couch in a locked office.
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